The SnarkerNacle Snarker

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Snarker Hearts fMhLisa

Dearest fMhLisa,

You know that a dog is a man's best friend, but did you know they are also a woman's best friend? Yes, it is true. Cats are nothing.

You know I crave your attention, your affection, your adulation. Please, fMhLisa, please scratch behind my ears. Please buy me a little pink doggie collar that says "I belong to fMhLisa" and make me your own. I will even take flea and tick dips for you. I always take my heartworm medication without complaining. I have all my shots.

I will leave Paris Hilton in a heartbeat for you. And only you.

Don't make me whine and beg,

Bloggernacle Snarker

Times & Seasons Rocks Because it is So Good!

The Bloggernacle Snarker would like all of the Nacle to know that Times and Seasons, the original and exemplary Mormon group blog, is just so awesomely awesome that he gives it his enqualified paws up endorsement. Times and Seasons is clearly, obviously, objectively the best blog, as evidenced by their enormous hit count and stunningly fresh, witty and pithy content written by luminaries in their fields. Their content is always better than BCC, without question, word for word. And, so, everyone in the entire Nacle should stop blogging, delete their blogs, and just read only T&S forever more.

The Bloggernacle Snarker heartily endorses all T&S permabloggers for immediate translation and transfiguration to hasten the work of the Three Nephites and John the Beloved, so long as said translation will still permit them to still blog.

The Bloggernacle Snarker actively condemns any and all peevish, near-shighted, villianous scoundrels who would say one cross word about Times and Seasons, blessed blog of the Bloggernacle.

In fact, the Snarker is issuing a fatwa that any and all slanderers and defamers of character who address or even look askance at Times and Seasons be summarily banned from both the Mormon Archipelago and LDSelect and their names be blotted out from all earthly records and their comments be retroactively deleted and they never be mentioned on the Nacle ever again.

SnarkerNacle Apologizes Profusely, Grovels Before Nate & Heather Oman

The Bloggernacle Snarker, the original one, was recently spotted begging Nate and Heather Oman to forgive him for being so mean, nasty, vicious and rude to them. The ugly little rat-dog was overheard saying, between sobs, "I am so sorry, I am just jealous of you, I cannot help it." He was also heard to say "Please, please, help get the SnarkerNacle back on the Mormon Archipelago, I beg you, have mercy on me!" while clutching at Nate's pant legs.